Thinking It Over
Even in the midst of — and perhaps, indeed, because of — the bunching-up of holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s) and consequential gatherings or absences of friends and family, we find ourselves especially reflective this time of year. Or maybe it’s simply because we’re hurtling toward another Julian calendar terminus that we realize we’ve gained another 12 months’ worth of life experiences that lead us to formulate truisms.
Here are my truisms for 2014:
• Eventually, eating kale chips will get old.
• A pulled groin is your body’s way of forcing you to hit a happy hour instead of the gym.
• Not all cut flowers will remain perky after a two-hour road trip with their stems wrapped in wet paper towels and plastic wrap.
• Lucky pennies really aren’t.
• Wearing a Green Bay Packers T-shirt invites unwanted conversation from strangers.
• It’s too much trouble to change a coffee habit.
• Right after you’ve given someone a present you paid for, you will receive something perfect for regifting to them. (Oh, c’mon, like this never occurred to you.)
• It’s money well spent to buy superior olive oil, toothbrushes and shoes. It’s money well saved to buy greeting cards, shampoo, and wax paper at the dollar store.
• Body surfing requires the same kind of wave timing as board surfing, even though you don’t have to stand up.
• Practice, practice, practice: It goes for an iPhone camera — (What? I shot a video again?) — as much as it does for violin playing and sautéing scallops.
• Reading glasses love to play hide and seek even more so than keys do; both should be treated with respect — not that it will do any good.
• Knowing when to harvest pomegranates from your tree and when to trust your instincts (which may occur simultaneously) are skills that rely entirely on luck.
Truisms from the past confirmed in 2014:
• A house may not be a home and a home may not be a house, but a house is a house and home is a home. Both deserve an occasional sprucing up.
• It’s utterly impossible to paint anything without getting some of the pigment on your skin, hair and/or clothes. The same holds true for glue.
• It not only is safe, but also appropriate to cruise down the highway listening to Meatloaf sing “Bat Out of Hell.”
• People are funny — even when they’re not, whereas television shows are not funny — even when they are.
• If you want to be truly happy, work for good people; stay in touch with family and friends; get a good night’s sleep at least five nights a week; surround yourself with art, music and books; hold firm to the belief that you’re a good dancer; and occasionally watch a YouTube cat video.